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Did you notice there was a big political debate on Wednesday? No? Then I’ve done my job. Here is what’s happening today on the Scene for Friday October 5, 2912, minus 900 years.

TIFF Bell Lightbox is hosting a screening of Dial M for Murder  at 7:15 pm which spits on the religion based laws of physics by breaking into the third dimension! Witchcraft! (L. Ron’s going to be piiiisssed.) The Hitchcock classic – more common a phrase than “that Hitchcock pap-smear for the eyes” – will be introduced by Globe and Mail film critic and feature writer Liam Lacey, of whom I am certain has never uttered the phrase “that Hitchcock pap-smear for the eyes.” Daniel Janvier: innovator of words; turner of phrase; king among pheasants; the thing that makes you beautiful.

Bloor Hot Docs Cinema is continuing its run of Beauty is Embarrassing tonight at 9:15 pm. I reviewed it for their Hot Docs festival, and I’m still writing about it in these posts, telling you to go see it. If you have not received the message yet…. IT SCREENS TONIGHT AT 9:15 PM! IT IS INSIGHTFUL, MOVING, AND OFTEN BEYOND HILARIOUS. So you should probably, like, go see it man. Also screening tonight is Frank Oz’s classic  Little Shop of Horrors at 11:15 pm. There’s a kind of magic to late night cult classics that Bloor Hot Docs has tapped into with these weekend midnight screenings, so why not take one in?

Oh. You’re still here? Well I guess I should put my pants back on and tell you what’s screening over at the indie cinemas, yes? The Fox Theatre is screening Eric Toledano and Olivier Nakache The Intouchables tonight at 7:00 pm. Said of the French buddy comedy: “[The Intouchables] proves an audience will suspend disbelief and follow an unlikely story as long as it’s superbly crafted.” (Claudia Puig, USA Today). Following at 9:15 pm is the last return of Nolan’s Gotham City in The Dark Knight Rises, the third film in a trilogy about a rich white guy beating up misguided youth in black tights that people don’t seem to take seriously enough on this website.

And we come to the end of my week writing Today On the Scene posts. You may notice a distinct lack of inappropriately overused exclamation points, so for that I give you the following to stick in yo coffee cup ‘n’ suck it [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!].

I may be gone, Elliott, but I’ll always be here. Or you could just stop being so weird about it and check back tomorrow for what’s happening on the Scene.

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Daniel Janvier

Daniel is a graduate of the University of Guelph’s theatre studies program. Having performed Shakespeare in drag once, Daniel attempts to sound unique and mysteriously cool when speaking with woman in bars. He then proceeds to take over the dance floor, performing a rendition of Thom Yorke’s dancing in Radiohead’s Lotus Flower video as performed by a geriatric. Who is suffering. A lot apparently. He is also allergic to cats, the villainous harbingers of apocalypse and the odour of kitty litter – which is a stupid name for a toilet.

Latest posts by Daniel Janvier (see all)

• Hot Docs Review: Another Night on Earth – April 29, 2013
• Hot Docs Review: Blood Brother – April 29, 2013
• When to hock your old flicks – February 21, 2013